The mailman stalker...

 

I have been stalking the mailman. Constantly looking out the window to see when he drives by, keeping track of his schedule so I know the time that he arrives each day, running after the mailbox once he pulls away...you know. Just your average stalker. But at least I have a good reason for it.

You see, when you have a relationship where you can only communicate through letters and weekly brief emails, you seem to become somewhat of a "Stalker".

Each day since Jacob has been gone, I have waited and watched the mailman arrive and leave around 11:30 each morning. Only for me to go outside, with my heart pumping strong, hoping for a letter, opening the mailbox, and there be nothing in it for me. This happened each day for about eleven days. Eleven days doesn't seem like long to most people. But when you are used to talking with a person basically non stop for over eight months...Eleven days seems like an eternity.

The eleventh day came. March 28, 2015.

I was driving back home to Idaho from a weekend trip to Utah. When my phone began to ring. I picked it up, and my mom was on the phone. She told me "When you get home, look in the mailbox!" I FREAKED! Smiling from ear to ear, I knew it was a letter from Jacob! But I still had three hours left of driving. So naturally, I began to speed. About five minutes later, my brother called and informed me that Jacob had sent me FOUR letters! FOUR! At that point, I was driving like a Nascar driver! Zipping around corners, and flying through valleys to get home to read these letters I have waited so long to receive!

Once I finally arrived home, I ran to the mailbox, and found in the box, FIVE LETTERS! Are you kidding me!? My heart was filled with love and happiness! And as I rushed off to my room to read them, my heart felt the missing pieces from him leaving, wonder back. His sweet words were just what I needed to hear. And to know he was doing well, put my worried mind as ease. Apparently he had been sending me letters all along. The MTC just decided to mail them out on the same day, so five letters in one day, was just fine for me!

So yes. I will continue to stalk my mailman. The feelings I get when I get those letters, are way too good to not be a stalker of this poor old innocent man who delivers my mail each day. You know, just your average stalker. But at least I have a perfectly good reason for doing so.

First Email...

As the first monday rolled around, I was so excited to finally get an email from him! Even though it had only been a few days since he had left, It felt like ages! 9:00 went by....10:00 went by...still no email. Then it got to around 5:00 that day, and I knew he wasn't going to send an email that day. I guess not all missionaries have P-day on mondays like I thought. Or at least it is different in the MTC. That made my day just drag on. All I wanted to hear was that he was okay.

Slowly but surely, Tuesday March 24, 2015 came! The day also went so slow...constantly checking my emails to see if he was on...Then finally, at 3:54pm, I GOT IT! The email I have been waiting for! Such a great feeling to know he was still alive and working hard in training to be a missionary. He let me know that he was okay, and the MTC was stressful,  but it has helped him grow closer to Heavenly Father by turning to prayer. He also mentioned how him and a few other elders had fun doing LDS rap battles. And apparently he was pretty good at it. ;) "The other elders in my district are really fun guys and last night when we went to take showers we ended up having a little rap battle about the gospel in the showers. It was so funny seeing a bunch of white guys try to rhyme simple appropriate words about the gospel while following a beat. I must have had the spirit with me or something because I actually went on for 6 or 7 lines in this gospel rap. I wasn't sure if it was sacrilegious to do that, but I think we are going to be okay. "
So funny!

I sure do love him. And am so beyond proud of him! So ready to get that first letter to know more of how everything is going! It's just hard because they don't get much time in the MTC for emails. But it's okay. He has better things to focus on for a couple years, and even though it's hard, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Reporting For Duty!

Let the countdown begin!

Today, March 18, 2015, Elder Jacob Szuch reported to the Provo MTC at 1:00pm.

In 24 months, he will be back in my arms.

730 days.

I can do this.

But it is so hard. I feel like a piece if my heart is literally missing. And it won't come back for two whole years. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I know in the end it will all be worth it. But that is so hard to think about right now since the end is so far away. I just have to keep in mind, all things happen for a reason, and good things come to those who wait.

On a good note, I have decided to just keep myself super busy, and work on some care packages for him! This is the fun part! Sent off the hero one this morning, and sending off the easter one in a few weeks to him. If I can't be with him, I should at least support him in any way that I can, and show him how truly happy I am that he is serving a mission.

Goodbye Elder Jacob Szuch...

Well, on Sunday, Jacob had his Farewell talks. He had to give two, one in his old ward, as well as one in his new ward he just moved into. As I sat during both his meridian and Boise talks, I couldn't help but to fall more and more in love with him in every way.

The day of his farewell, he made me feel so special even if it was with the most simple of things. I thought he would ride with his family to church, and from church to church, and then to his aunt and uncles house after. And I would just kinda be "there", but in the background of things. Simply because its a big special day for him. But he asked me if he could ride with me. Of course I said yes. And he would go out of his way to talk to me, and make sure I was okay with all this happening, and just being a real sweetheart. His talks went great, and the food after with his family was also amazing after a long morning of church with no breakfast that morning.

Sunday came and went, monday we had our last day together before he had to get set apart that night at 7:30. Mainly just running errands, getting his visa information ready, grabbing his last Los Betos breakfast burrito for two years, and other simple things such as that. The last hours we had together seemed to speed by in a flash. We quickly went to my house so he could say goodbye to my family, and of course my little brothers stopped him and got him to play a quick game of baseball one last time.

We went back to his home and sat and talked for a while longer. Then seven o'clock rolled around...This was the moment I had feared for since he got his call four months earlier. Our last goodbye. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. We went out to my car at his house. We sat and talked, and basically spilt our love for each other out. He held me and kissed me as I cried. His eyes filled with water, while mine were complete waterfalls. He let me know of how much he loves me, and told me everything was going to be okay, and everything was going to be worth it when he returns.

7:20 came around, and his stake president would be at his home soon to set him apart as a missionary. Jacob invited me to go, but I know I couldn't because saying goodbye with a handshake would be so much harder. So it was time for us to part ways. We stepped out of my car, and embraced, and kissed one last time for two years.

As I put my car into reverse, leaving him one last time, I flashed the brights on my car one last time as our tradition, and held up the "I love you" sign as he did. Then very slowly, began to drive away. As I drove off, I looked back at him in my rear view mirror, he was just standing there watching me leave.

I broke down. I was sobbing more than I ever have before in my life. I felt a piece of my heart leave me, as I left him. I couldn't breathe. All I wanted to do was turn around and hug him and never let go. But it was too late.

One thing I did have him do right after I left, was call my phone and leave me a voicemail. I am so glad I had him do that. I have listened to it every day at least twice since he left. It is so amazing to hear his voice, and to hear him spilling out his feelings he has for me. And I can hear that whenever I need to.

This is so hard, but I know it will be so so worth it. I know that this is were he should be, and this is what he needs to be doing. He is already such an amazing man, but with this, he will become even more amazing  then ever before.  I love him so much. And I know without a doubt that we will become stronger throughout this. In ways that we didn't even know we could become stronger.